New Year Reflections

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Year is Yours. What will you do with it?
I wrote this post about a month ago and after reading it again, I am happy to say that I feel a little more of a sense of peace now. God works in strange ways and sometimes I don't always understand what's planned for me, but I am so excited to see what this year holds.

I was loading the dishwasher this morning and thinking to myself "Wow, I can't believe this is my last year of high school." As I was doing this, a strange feeling came over me. I wouldn't call it sadness or regret because everything that I have experienced and gone through up to this point has changed me in a positive way and shaped the person that I have become. I would say it was more disbelief than anything. I absolutely cannot believe that time has gone by this fast. I cannot believe that 17 years of my life have passed and I'm approaching the time where I have to decide where I am going to college and, ultimately, the time when your "adult" life begins. While I am absolutely so excited to take these next steps in my life, I can't help but feel a really overwhelming feeling of sadness, I guess. I am a huge over thinker and worrier and have been for pretty much my whole life. Now more than ever, I really feel that sense of worry in my life. I have had the best upbringing and, although I've gone through some really hard times, I feel proud of the person I have become. I pray and hope every single day that (someday in the far, far future, haha!) I can give my own children and family the same things that I have been given in my life. I hope that I can be as successful and provide for myself and my family in the same ways that my parents have shown and done for me. The sense of worry comes in when I doubt myself. Will I be good enough? Am I really ready for this next chapter of my life? I have a hard time trusting and having faith in the plan that is so much greater than me and my "small" world. However, as I am realizing that, ready or not, this next phase in my journey is coming, I am also realizing that having faith in something greater than myself is so important. This faith is something that is very personal and private to me, but I know that I cannot make these big decisions without it. I know I am not alone in feeling this wave of emotion approaching my senior year of high school and that provides me with a little sense of relief. Something that I have to remind myself daily is that no matter what you are going through and how scared you might feel, you are never alone. While I am unsure of my path ahead and do feel worried and scared, I know that I am most definitely not alone and that I am 100% capable of all of my dreams and hopes for my future. Although doubt is inevitable sometimes, you can do almost anything if you have faith in yourself.

xoxo

2 comments :

  1. This is the best thing I have read on the blog :)
    You will be successful because of who you are; yet wonderful reminder, No one gets there alone.

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